JUMPING OFF A CLIFF COULD BE A VERY BAD IDEA.... but then again, if you land in soft growth or maybe a deep ocean jetty could be kind of fun. Either way, you jump and what lies at the bottom is unknown because you've never jumped here before, and it is dark, black of night without a moon, dark. All you know is the thrill is pounding through your body like a young boy about to get his first buck with an arrow, kind of thrilled. Or better, your first gigantic rollercoaster that you have to be at least 52" to ride. Yeah, that kind of thrill.
I have jumped a lot recently, blindly going where I am uncertain about what will happen next. I jumped in therapy and so far it is really helping to ground me. I had, since starting with AM, only one explosive moment in over a month. Go me!
I jumped with marriage therapy going a totally different direction and saying less not more. Forcing Don to participate more instead of less. And so far, it is working, just a little.
I jumped back into school at a known huge financial impact, but got in to a graduate program that is reasonably priced and will give me the credentials to do so much more with the later part of my life. A financial, emotional, and physical freedom that I wish I had done so much earlier, but am here now and thankful for this moment and opportunity.
I jumped with fighting back against a lie, undeserved persecution, and may not have come out ahead in that battle, but I feel good about my approach, my words, and the considerations. The best part, Don jumped in with me, supporting me. A first.
So, jumping is not always a bad thing.
Today, I am jumping into getting back to the routine of out of bed by 5:00 a.m. so that I can take care of all the things I need and want to do. I am jumping back into more regular writing, my time with my kids (we played Clue a lot this weekend and it was a ton of fun), taking over some things I gave up. I am not the only one that should be allowed freedoms in my own home, so that is going to change too.
I like what and who I once was more than who and what I am the last few years. So, I am channeling backward to move forward.
